Reading and Writing

Every summer, I go through a reading frenzy. I have always loved books; however, I feel as though throughout the year I have always been crunched for time, and am unable to motivate myself to read a book in my spare time that is not required. When I was younger I was an avid reader, but had a pending fear for reading books over two hundred, or (to be even more honest), one hundred pages long. This might have been due to my lack of attention span, or my urge to keep the title as most books read in the entire grade. Some may call this cheating, but I call it strategy. I do not in any way mean to downplay my title. I deserved it. Over the following nine years my love of reading had declined only to exponentially increase in high school where I had renewed my passion. I can safely say I read books over two hundred pages, but this may also have been attributed to the lack of complexity the longer the book, which has changed by the way. Not to be entirely scatter-brained, but a side note is that my new favorite genres are philosophical and religious. Sometimes quantity can not always be quality in my book, and I am sticking to it. My passion, this summer, was due to a shallow inspiration. Like most teenage girls, I can always spare time to glance at a few pictures of movie stars in trash magazines. In one magazine I came across a quote by Natalie Portman expressing her passion to know as much as she can. I am not ignorant to the fact that it might be sad to admit that Natalie Portman inspired me to learn more, but it’s best to be honest here, this is a blog after all.

Ever since reading the quote by Natalie Portman I find myself realizing that someone can live beyond the shallow hype that society puts forth in order to distract the nation from rising above their limits. So many things take up space in my mind that are not cultivating, but trash. I want to know everything. I began to be more and more excited to enter a bookstore. I realize there are so many things I do not know and I am just getting started! I can gloat to myself as I complete a book, and I am able to discuss the knowledge I have acquired and concepts above my teenage mind. Some of the books I read this summer were The Stranger by Albert Camous, Siddhartha, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Secret Life of Bees, The Late Bloomer, The Catcher and the Rye, The Age of Innocence, East of Eden, and Naked Lunch. The thing I most enjoy when I read is being able to talk and discuss what I have read. I do not enjoy reading books I dislike, it takes me awhile, but whether it is about existentialism, a coming of age, a hopeless romance, or even about nothing at all but the acid ridden mind of a psycho (Naked Lunch), I enjoy contemplating the ideas that come forth while reading these books.

When it comes to my writing, not many people have much good to say about what I have written except for my mother. This would be the only reason why I dislike it because I am not good at it. My grammar also needs work, and I realize the best thing to do is get criticized in order to improve which takes a lot out of someone, since no one wants to hear about what others have to say on the inner-workings of one’s mind if it is criticism. I have taken writing courses at Amherst Excel, but there’s hardly a way to get help unless I help myself and find out a way that suites me. I like writing creative stories, but writing critical essays is not my thing. I have never gotten any praise at any critical or historical essay. I can admit I like having a unique way of writing and addressing things in writing and in person regarding symbolism or breaking down people or characters, but my mind, as well as my writing as a reflection, is cluttered. I get carried away and do not want to read what I have just written. I may lack organization but I know I have style. My goal for the year is to work through my writing anxiety with confidence, and just like AA the first step is acknowledging they have a problem, right? Maybe that was not the best analogy, but I am sure that everyone understands my point as adult as that statement may be for a high school paper. My point is, let it begin! On a side note, I apologize for the length, (I got carried away). (814).